Who's going to get your hard earnt money?

From the start of the New Year the traditional stampede of girls and their mums and/or best friend will rumble through the streets of the country.  Brides eager to get their dream dress, cake, table decorations, photographer, mums eager to ensure that their daughter gets good honest and fair service… end will end up with something timeless and elegant (just like they had..... see comments this later in the article) and finally the best friend eager to ensure that she’s not going to be put in a bridesmaid outfit that is frumpy, frilly or fluorescent lime green (or all three).  And, slowly but surely as the days and weeks pass by and the energy levels drain, and tempers fray and budgets are stretched and enthusiasm gives way to compromise. 

 

But how does it get this way?  How do independent women with rich and varied lives, capable of multitasking their way through a career, running a household, paying the bills and knocking up the odd gourmet meal al la Nigella Lawson end up as helpless victims of the cruel wedding industry, hell bent on removing as much of the bride’s hard eared savings as possible by tricking her into things she doesn’t want or need or looks daft in?

 

Let’s face it at the start of this epic journey of planning and running a wedding the bride will probably have some basic outline of what she does and what she does not want out of the big day.  Dare I say it, there may even be a groom or two out there who has opinions on the subject (there not all football watching, beer drinking, PS2 playing, Nuts reading cave men).  It also seems reasonably evident by the proliferation of wedding magazines out there that brides and grooms are doing a fair bit of research into the whole shebang so we can’t blame a lack of information for this trend.

 

Could it be too many cooks spoiling (or at least making more complicated than necessary) the broth?  Maybe….. if the bride, groom, mums and dads all have different ideas of what is going to make the “perfect wedding” and they have not taken the time the thrash out these ideas then they are all going to be pulling in different directions. So, to knock this one on the head it’s important to decide on who is the decision maker for each aspect of the wedding.  And this often comes down to who’s paying for that specific part of the wedding.  “Who pays the piper calls the tune” is as applicable to the wedding dress as it is to hiring a band for the reception.  Of course brides can eliminate this particular issue by paying for everything themselves but let’s face it we’re living in the real world here and a bride and groom are likely to pass up financial help.  So, we are back to good old negotiation.  All relevant parties sitting down and discussing what they do and what they don’t want form the wedding.  Bride and Groom: You need to decide what you want first, then pull all parties together and sell your ideas to them... don’t bury your head in the sand or ignore issues, it will not be any easier to sort persuade your dad that you want a horse drawn carriage to take you to the church whilst you are stood looking at the vintage Bentley that he has dragged you out to see.  Early on you need to make a list of everything that you need for the wedding (wedding magazines often have check list articles you can use) and then decide what elements you want and what they don’t.  It’s also worth pulling together a file of images that inspire you.  You can use these pictures to help explain to your in laws how you want your day to feel (and possibly why their idea is not going to fit in).

 

But what about the shops and suppliers of the things you feel you need for the wedding… what are they doing to help?  Sometimes very little.  The wedding industry is mature and conservative.  Shops have been selling the same type of product by the same methods for decades and by and large they are very comfortable with this.  In trade magazines and when the industry gets together it you often hear them talking about “modernising”, “updating”, becoming more customer focused”, “embracing new technology” or “thinking outside the box”.  Unfortunately in many cases it is just hot air and as soon as the managers cross the threshold of their own shop they fall back into “business as usual”. 

 

For these dinosaurs the customer flexes to fit in with their schedules, with their processes, with their ideas of what your want and what you need.  So why are they still in business?  Because for years they have been the only option and because their customers have had virtually no experience of shopping for the types of product that they sell (I mean how many times in your life do you find yourself buying a tiara?) they are easily brow beaten or intimidated.  Now is the time to put an end to that level of service and it’s the customers who will force the revolution... If you feel you’re not being listened to or you are not getting the service you deserve turn and walk away.  Don’t perpetuate the problem by spending your hard earnt money with a supplier that doesn’t give you the levels of service that you truly want. The suppliers, who help you, guide you but ultimately have the products and services you need are the ones that deserve your purchase and ultimately to survive.

 

Now let’s go back to mums “timeless and elegant”.... just before you fall for this one ask your mum if you can take a quick peek at her wedding photographs one more time.  Either empire line or bodice with a sheath skirt and we are in the 1960s.  Lots of lace and full length sleeves?  That will be the 70’s then.  Any if your mum is young enough to be an 80’s bride you will probably be looking at either a retro styled 1930’s dropped waist dress, a fishtail dress or a princes Diana copy with puff sleeve, pearls and flower detail in cream or ivory.  Even if you mum did manage to pull off the timeless look... what about your dad in his light grey morning suit?  Or your uncle Dave with his brown flared three piece suit, Magnum P.I. moustache and sunglasses?  You just have to face it, there are wedding trends it’s just that these trends move a little slower than those of high street fashion.  And it’s the same with all aspects of your wedding.  A chocolate fountain at your wedding reception will, for the next generation, nail it down to 2008, but who cares?  If that’s what you want, if that is what fits the mood you’re trying to create then go for it!

Posted: Fri 30 May 2008 14:13:11 pm.
Last updated: Sat 31 May 2008 17:07:29 pm.

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